


The Ginger Cat

by ItsJustPickles



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abused Hinata Shouyou, Depressed Hinata Shouyou, Gamer Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou Needs a Hug, Hinata Shouyou is smart, Hinata Shouyou's mom sucks, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, M/M, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Minor Kuroo Tetsurou/Kozume Kenma/Hinata Shouyou, Multi, Oikawa Tooru & Hinata Shouyou Friendship, Suicidal Hinata Shouyou
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28306923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsJustPickles/pseuds/ItsJustPickles
Summary: Hinata goes to Nekoma and befriends everyone, including the one person who said they would never be friends with someone who had so much energy.Hinata is also depressed in this and there are mentions of suicidal thoughts.(tags to be added as story progresses)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Hinata Shouyou & Nekoma Volleyball Club, Hinata Shouyou & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Anxiety, Cutting, Blood, Depression

Hinata walked slowly through the snow to his house where the moving truck waited along the curb, he didn't want to move but his mother got a new job that paid better. As he got closer, the anxiety ate away at him and he felt a few tears escape before warily wiping them away and running the rest of the way to the house to help his mother and younger sister move the boxes into the truck.

* * *

It had been a week since they moved and Hinata was going to start high school today and sign up for the volleyball club but his anxiety ate at him and he sat on his bed staring at his feet.

'What if people don't like me?' He thought as he slowly got up and made his way to the kitchen to grab a protein bar and bag to leave the house and ride his bike to his new school.

'It feels like people are watching me, am I that out of place here?' Hinata looked around and noticed no one looking at him and sighed as he rode his bike.

'Am I going the right way? I think I am but what if I get lost.' He looked at the directions on his phone when he stopped at a crosswalk and smiled as he saw that he was almost there and only had one more turn before he would be at the school. He kept riding and finally stopped in front of the school and shakily got off his bike and locked it on the bike wrack before walking in the front doors while looking at his schedule.

'Time to smile and be energetic.' He internally groaned but pulled up the mental mask that hid all his 'problems' as he called them. Hinata looked at his schedule again and frowned when he realized he never got a tour of the school and had no idea where he was going.

"E-excuse me, could you help me find my class?" He asked a student that had black hair in a way a roosters head kinda looked with it's hair. Hinata smiled before commenting, "Your hair kinda reminds me of a rooster." He froze and blushed before waving his hands and sputtering, "N-not that I'm c-comparing you to a rooster, not a-at all."

"Hey, its good tangerine, my best friend actually calls me rooster-head." The guy chuckled and looked at Hinata with a small smile before adding on, "What class?" Hinata handed the boy his schedule and the rooster guy looked at it before saying anything. "You're a first year, that's cool. I'm Kuroo Tetsurou by the way! Just call me Kuroo." Kuroo smiled which gained a sunshine smile from Hinata.

"Yeah, I just moved here to Tokyo actually. I'm Hinata Shouyou but uhm, I don't really mind which you call me." Hinata muttered the last bit and looked down as he remembered his best friend who he had to leave without saying anything to. 

"Alright Shouyou, I'll show you to your class." Kuroo's voice brought Hinata out of his thoughts and he smiled at the boy.

"Thanks Kuroo!" They walked and talked until they got to Hinata's classroom and Kuroo gave him his schedule back. "Thanks again Kuroo!"

"Anytime Shouyou!" Kuroo waved before walking away and Hinata was once again left alone.

'When will I ever catch a break, I'm tired of being alone.' His thoughts decided then was the time to spiral but he kept on a smile throughout the entire class until lunch came around and he ran out of the room. 

'I think the track is over here, I can run my problems away like I usually do.' He ran to the track and smiled as he found it but he didn't noticed there were two people sitting in the bleachers, one watching him while the other played games.

'One lap, all I need is one lap and then I will be okay, right?' Hinata faltered a little and almost tripped but kept running and ended up running almost five laps by the time lunch ended and he wasn't out of breath.

* * *

"I could never be friends with someone who had that much energy." Kenma said quietly while he played mario kart on his switch that Kuroo got him for his birthday.

"He's nice and his smiles are almost a bright as the sun kitty." Kuroo spoke softly while he watched the orange haired boy run on the track. He had counted five laps before the bell rang and then watched as the boy ran back to the building. "You would like him kitty, and I think I'm going to ask if he plays volleyball if I see him again."

"You do that rooster-head, more work for you." Kenma stood up and began walking away before Kuroo could responde.

"C'mon kitty, don't be like that!" Kuroo draped an arm across the dual haired boys shoulders and kissed his cheek. "You know you love me!"

"Sure, we will go with that." Kuroo pouted before seeing Hinata curled in a ball on the ground. Kenma looked up confused when he felt the heat leave him as Kuroo ran.

"Shouyou!?" Kuroo ran over to the orange haired boy and heard coughing. "Did the running catch up to you?" He questioned as he knelt beside the other boy and tried to pry his head away from his knees.

"N-no, go away, please." Hinata pleaded which made Kuroo's heart clench and he froze. "Just leave me alone, I'm f-fine. I j-just got cold an-" Kenma walked up and kicked the boys foot which caused his leg to fall and his face be exposed.

"You face is all red!" Kuroo all but shouted and reached out to feel Hinata's forehead when the boy moved away and hid his face again.

"Hey, I'm not sure what's going on but if you need to talk then I'm good at listening." Kenma finally spoke up and looked at Hinata with and expectant face. "Mainly because I deal with rooster-head here and he pouts if I don't listen to him and then I don't get to live it down for a while." He went back to playing his game and was about to walk away when Hinata finally spoke up again.

"You're the one Kuroo mentioned before!" Hinata smiled and was up on his feet again in a second. "I pointed out how his hair reminded me of a rooster and he said his best friend called him rooster-head!" The orange haired boy was all smiles now and his episode long forgotten while Kenma stood there shocked and Kuroo looked proud.

"You remembered Shouyou!" Kuroo exclaimed and got a blinding smile.

"You kept it a secret like I asked you to?" Kenma looked at Kuroo with shock lacing his words even though his face was void of emotion.

"Of course I did, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. Anyways, we should get to class! After I ask you something Shouyou!" Hinata tilted his head at that and Kuroo smiled before pointing at him. "Do you happen to play volleyball?"

"I-I-" Hinata froze and all his anxiety from before ate him up again at the question, Kenma noticed this and decided to speak up.

"You don't have to answer and he should have been more respectful. If you do, or if you even just know and like volleyball, feel free to come to us and join." The duo then walked away while talking, leaving Hinata to walk the other direction for his class while thinking if he should actually join the volleyball club or not.

* * *

'Would I be good enough to be on their team? They are amazing!' Hinata though at he unlocked his bike and began walking through the snow to the road to begin the ride home.

'What if I just mess up and they hat me?' He stopped and looked at a rock before kicking it out of frustration.

'Why can't these thoughts stop? I hate them, I hate me!' Hinata looked at his bike and decided on not riding it after noticing his chain was a little loose and that he would need to tighten it a little bit.

"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Hinata voiced his frustration and a hand landed on his shoulder which made him freeze. 

"Sorry Shouyou, I was gonna ask why you're walking if you have your bike." Kuroo stepped in front of him and he pulled of his fake happy mask.

"Oh, my chain is a little loose and I don't feel like risking it. Plus, I want to take in everything on my walk home." Hinata smiled and was about to start walking again when Kenma spoke from behind him and he jumped.

"Is that why you went 'Gah'?" Kenma asked while he was absorbed in a video game. Hinata shook his head to clear any thoughts and smiled again.

"Oh, no. That was my frustration from getting lost earlier coming back to bite me and well, I guess a little bit of not wanting to risk my chain." Hinata was again about to walk off when instead Kuroo spoke.

"Why not we hang out? Get to know each other maybe?" He asked and Kenma nodded his head in agreement while Hinata looked for an excuse in his head.

"I can't, my mom works and I have to watch my little sister and make her dinner while my mom is gone." He responded smoothly, the lie rolling off his tongue like it has a million times before. "My mom works late often and with her new job she has to get used to things and everything. That reminds me, I don't even know where she works now." He muttered the last part while scratching his arm, a thing he does when anxious. No one seemed to notice and Kuroo huffed before speaking.

"I guess another time then, I was really hoping we could get to know the new first year on his first day." Kuroo pouted and Kenma hit him playfully while still playing his game.

"Cya then." Kenma said and the two walked of while Hinata then began to run because he wasted time he could have been in his room.

'This counts as three, happens again and it will double.' Hinata's thoughts seemed to remind him every time he did something and he let the smile fall from his face.

'Why not show everyone you aren't who they think you are?' His thoughts questioned him and he internally pouted at he ran with his bike before getting on it and not caring anymore.

'That's two more, being careless.' Hinata grunted as he saw his house come into view and jumped off his bike.

'Two more for jumping off your bike, what would happen if you had fallen and gotten hurt?' He kicked a rock and put his bike against the wall before going to the front door and unlocking it and stepping inside. He threw his bag down on the floor and took his shoes off before putting his slippers on.

'Another one for throwing your bag, you're on a role tonight.' He sighed as he walked to his room and went in without saying anything to either his mom or sister about being home, they would see his shoes soon enough and know.

'That's eight in total, think about where because if you let someone see they might put you into a mental hospital or send you to therapy like they did your friend.' Hinata rummaged in his drawers before pulling out the box of razors and going to his bathroom and locking the door.

'The thigh will be best, hides them and nobody will ever know. If it gets to be too much there then my shoulders might also work to hide them.' He thought as he slowly slid the blade across his thigh and watched blood run down his leg, he smiled a real smile and did all eight on his thighs before adding two more to each shoulder. 

"Shouyou! Dinner will be done soon!" He could hear his sister yell from outside his room and his smile fell once again. 

"Alright, I will be down in a little!" Hinata yelled back and cleaned the blood off his legs and wrapped them so he could wear pants comfortably. He put black joggers on and a navy green shirt that was a size to big but was really comfortable. He left his room and went to the dining room where his sister sat at the table on her tablet playing a game and he could smell the dinner his mother had made.

"How was school today Shouyou?" His mother asked as she brought the food out and set it on the table.

"It was good, I friends with I think a third year but I'm not sure." He smiled at they all said 'thank you for this meal' and began eating.

"Would you tell me about this friend?" His mother said and he looked down as he remembered what happened to his childhood friend.

"No, I don't really know much." He finished eating and got up to wash what he used. "I'm going to be doing stuff for school." He said and walked away before his mother could respond. The memories were vivid but now they returned to him as he walked into his room and locked his door so no one could come in.

_*Memory*_

_'It's all your fault! If you hadn't told your mom I wouldn't be going to the mental hospital!' _____ yelled at him as his mom looked at him sadly, he never told her anything, he swore to never speak a word of what his friend was doing and going through to anyone. How had his mother found out?_

_'I'm sorry Shouyou, I looked through your phone at conversations and told them that you told me. I thought it would make you seem like a good and caring friend!' His mother spoke sadly but her eyes held nothing, they looked at him as if she didn't want him to have friends._

_'I'm going to bed mom, goodnight.' He merely whispered as he walked into the house the once held warmth but now held a coldness that he couldn't pick out.'_

_*End of memory*_

He curled into a ball as tears threatened his eyes and he held them back.

'I miss you, so much, I wish I could tell you the truth.' Hinata thought as he slowly got up and scrolled through his childhood friends instagram feed before closing it and sighing.

'He will never want you back, you betrayed his trust, you're disgusting!' His thoughts always did this, every time he looked at his childhood friends newest picture or of a picture he kept from when they were little, it never changed.

'Why do you even try, he will never come back, maybe you should give up like everyone has on you!' He looked down and smiled as he remembered the feeling of the blade sliding across his skin and went to his bed.

"Tomorrow will be a better day.." He muttered before turning over and watching it snow outside until the sun rose and his eye bags were more prominent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to add the note because I was so into writing this chapter! AHHHHHH!!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! I haven't actually written something like this so this is a first and I really enjoys writing this.
> 
> Thank you for reading! :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My computer decided to be a bitch a reload my page FOUR TIMES while trying to write this chapter so it isn't gonna be as good as it would have been, sorry! 
> 
> I'm also lazy and usually would be done within a few hours or a day or two, I don't use docs for writing anymore because it annoys me. Family was also in town for a week so I haven't had as much time to write and wanted to scream every time I was reading or writing and someone came up and started talking to me.
> 
> Anywho~ Hope you enjoy!! :D
> 
> THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER IS BASICALLY A TW!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Hinata rolled over to look at the time which read five in the morning, he groaned and sat up. "I didn't get any sleep last night, but I did make my decision!" He smiled to himself as he got out of bed and decided to quickly get dressed and ran to school.

'Mom is gonna be mad that you didn't wake Natsu up and you didn't make breakfast for them.' He smiled.

'That's two for being stupid and one more for eating dinner last night.' He wasn't supposed to eat, it was against his rules but he was around his mother so now he had to punish himself so as soon as he got to school he went into the bathroom.

'Good choice, no one will find you in here, no one is here this early unless they are in a club.' Hinata looked at the blade and smiled as he slid it across his skin.

"I'm okay, I'm fine.. Keep smiling and no one will find out." He muttered while washing his hands and walked out of the bathroom to sit in front of the school with his sign up sheet for volleyball club. "This is the only thing that I can do for myself, so it better be worth it.." He held the sheet tightly before whispering. "I'm glad one of us is at least happy now, and I'm glad it is you."

* * *

Kuroo was walking with Kenma to school when they turned the last corner and he spotted a familiar figure with orange hair sitting on the ground.

"Shouyou!" He started running to his new found friend while Kenma walked slowly behind playing his games. "How com you're here so early? Only clubs come this early." He asked and knelt in front of the boy who looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep.

"Oh, uh, I think this will answer your question from yesterday and your question just now." Hinata slowly handed the paper to Kuroo who took it eagerly and looked at it with a smile. "I've never played on a team before but I love volleyball and I used to practice with the girls team in my middle school before I moved here.." Hinata rambled on before Kenma finally sat himself on the ground beside Kuroo.

"You have to meet the team! Then we can see what all you need to work on!" Kuroo said excitedly and got up, dragging Hinata behind him while Kenma slowly got up and followed behind again. "They will love you! You're so energetic and happy, we don't have anyone like that on the team but we have Yaku who is like the mother of the team, he is really scary." Kuroo was rambling while dragging Hinata and Kenma watched in amusement.

"Rooster-head, I don't think he likes being dragged." Kenma finally spoke up and Kuroo stopped. "Shouyou?"

"I-I'm fine!" Hinata smiled. "Lead the way! I'm right behind you!" He kept the smile up but inside he was freaking out from all the times he was dragged to his room or living room just to be thrown against a wall. "I'm okay.." He whispered to himself but Kenma heard and wanted to ask but decided not to.

"This is the club room!" Kuroo said and opened the door to people talking and joking around. "Everyone! This is Hinata Shouyou, he is going to be joining our team!" Hinata followed him into the room and looked around.

"It's nice, all the lockers have different things on them." He smiled as he looked at the different pictures and posters people put on their lockers before looking back at one that had a game controller sticker on it. "I'm guessing that is Kenma's locker?"

"Yup." Kenma said and opened it to put his bag away before beginning to change.

"This will be your locker!" Kuroo said and opened an empty locker that had nothing on it. "Bring a picture, sticker, poster, anything to put on it!" Hinata smiled and nodded. "You can change and come down to the gym, we will all be waiting!"

"O-okay! Thank you!" Hinata bowed and watched as everyone walked out of the room before sliding down to crouch against the wall and sighed. "This is gonna be harder than I thought to keep up the smile and energy.." He frowned when he heard the door open and looked over to see Kenma walking in again. 

"Why are you on the ground?" Kenma said before opening his locker and grabbing something.

"O-oh, nothing." Hinata said and got up before grunting and as one of his cuts caught on his pants. "Ow," He muttered and rubbed his leg.

"You okay?" Kenma was standing beside him now and he jumped a little before nodding and quickly turning to find where he set his bag down at.

"I'm perfectly find, just stood up a little too quickly!" He smiled and grabbed out his gym shorts and shirt before turning to face Kenma who was frowning.

"Okay, hurry up." The boy left and Hinata let his smile fall before he changed.

'That was close, you were being an idiot. Don't slip up like that again.' His thoughts hissed and he frowned before smiling.

'Good, keep that smile on your face.' He huffed and opened the door to the club room before making his way to the gym where everyone was stretching.

"Alright! Shouyou, go stretch and then we will see what you can do!" Kuroo said and Hinata smiled before going to a corner away from everyone and stretching.

* * *

"Alright Shouyou, you will need to work on receives with Yaku, he will talk to you later." Kuroo said and Hinata looked around before tilting his head.

"Which one is Yaku?" He asked and said boy came up in front of him.

"I'm Yaku, the libero on the team!" Hinata smiled and bowed before looking back a Kuroo who was watching the two interact.

"Your serves will need work but you have good speed and height for being shorter than a lot of us." Kenma looked up at Kuroo when he said that and tried not to laugh at his face. "Shut it Kenma, I'm trying to be nice!"

"I'm not doing anything." Kenma said nonchalantly and kept playing games. "You also suck at setting the ball but that is fine, you're decent at blocking which makes up for a few different aspects and you are very determined." He spoke and Kuroo was surprised while Hinata was beaming.

"Thank you! I will do better!" He all but shouted and bowed. "Thank you for being so kind to me!" Kuroo walked over and hugged the orange haired boy before going over to the setter and patting him on the back.

"Thanks kitten, you really saved me there." Kenma waved him off and grabbed his bag while everyone else was walking to the club room, Hinata stayed back and was bouncing a volleyball on his wrists.

* * *

"Hinata!" Yaku yelled and ran after the boy who was halfway down the road. Hinata stopped and turned around, "Come at the same time in the morning and I will begin helping you with your receives, okay?"

"Thank you Yaku! That means a lot." Hinata smiled and the two waved bye to each other before going their separate ways but Hinata didn't get far before seeing a familiar person. 

'Oh look, it's the person who hates you because you sent him to a mental hospital!' Hinata flinched and was about to run when the other turned and looked at him which made him freeze.

'What are you doing? Going to be dumb and talk to him, going to run like an idiot? Or are you going to stand there and let him do whatever he want to you.' Hinata chose the latter and got ready to run when the other ran up to him and punched him.

"Why did you do that to me!" Hinata stared at him in shock an heard people running towards them.

"I didn't mean to, she looked through my phone, I kept my promise.. she acted sad but looked so angry with me when I told her I made friends.. I-" Hinata froze and looked at the boy who was looking at him in shock and wonder.

"What happened to you Shouyou? You used to be so bright.." He whispered and Hinata brought his knees to his chest.

"A lot Tooru, a lot has happened.." Oikawa looked at him and wrapped his arms around the boy gently.

"I'm here now Shouyou, I won't be leaving again anytime soon." Hinata sighed and leaned into the warmth before feeling the presence of someone behind him and he tapped Oikawa.

"Tooru, someone is behind us." Hinata whispered and Oikawa turned with the boy in his arms so they both could see who it was. "Kuroo? Kenma? What are you two doing?" He looked surprised at the two and they looked equally as surprised.

"Why is Oikawa Tooru here?" Kuroo asked and Hinata looked at him before looking at Oikawa.

"Uhm, I don't know?" He tilted his head at Oikawa who looked away before responding.

"I was looking for you Shouyou.. Iwa-chan is somewhere but when I saw the orange hair I kinda followed you to this point and waited for you to see me until I reacted.." Oikawa said and Hinata smiled a sad smiled before leaning into the other again.

"I was hoping to be the one to find you first Tooru.. I guess not everything works out the way you want it to." He chuckled as he heard another guy yelling.

"Oikawa! I swear to god if I lost you to fucking fan-girls again I will throw a volleyball at your head so hard you will have a concussion!" Iwaizumi walked around the corner and Oikawa smiled at him before moving so the orange haired boy was seen.

"I found him Iwa-chan! I also may have punched him.." He looked down and Iwaizumi ran a hand down his face with a groan.

"You're stupid Oikawa but at least you found him." He walked up to the group and knelt beside the two who were on the ground in each others arms and hugged them. "Hinata, I want you to talk to Oikawa and tell him everything he ha missed, okay?"

"B-but, I can't!" Hinata struggled for a moment before getting up and looking at the two, forgetting about his own teammates that stood behind him. "I can't tell him! I can't! It's too much, I can't even handle it! You know this Hajime!!" Hinata had tears streaming down his face and Oikawa went to wipe them away but Iwaizumi pulled his hand back.

"Hinata, he needs to know. He is your best friend after all and you haven't seen each other in years! He might be able to help, he won't send you to a mental hospital, he won't do anything except help you in a way that will keep you guys together." Iwaizumi walked closer to Hinata and the boy fell to his knees shaking.

'They are going to hate you, nobody will ever believe you.' His thoughts rang and he trembled.

"I can't, I can't, I'm sorry Hajime!" Hinata stood up shakily and started running in an unknown direction. 

'You're lucky you got away but they are chasing after you, you better have an escape plan.' Hinata ran into an alleyway and hid behind a wall that blocked view of him but he could see them looking for him.

"Shouyou, please! I just want to help you, I miss you!" Oikawa spoke out but he got no answer.

'He doesn't actually miss you, he's just saying that so he can send you to a mental hospital!' He wanted to punch something but couldn't.

'He never wanted to help you, you're lucky Iwaizumi is here otherwise he would have touched you and wiped off some of the makeup.' Hinata shuddered and stumbled which knocked something over.

'That's three.' He fell to the ground and began gasping for breath.

'That's two more for showing weakness.' His thoughts were eating away at him and he started pulling at his hair, he couldn't hear anything which scared him.

'That's one for not calming yourself down right away.' He looked around frantically as black dots started appearing in the edges of his vision and he kept gasping for breath, he let out a choked sob as a group of people came into vision before it went black.

'That's four for letting this happen you idiot. Your mother will be so disappointed.' He could still hear his thoughts but nothing else, he felt like he was on a cloud and his head was pounding from lack of oygen.

* * *

"He had a panic attack, they happen frequently but.." Iwaizumi stopped and looked down, "His are caused by his own thoughts most of the time and you running after him did not help." Oikawa seemed to freeze at that and then something clicked.

"H-his mother, do you know what goes on at home?" Oikawa looked at Iawaizumi who numbly nodded before looking at Hinata who was sleeping on the couch in their apartment.

"What happens at his home?" Kuroo asked quietly as if contemplating whether or not he should actually asked and Iwaizumi just shook his head.

"I can't tell you, it's for Hinata to tell you, I found out by witnessing it.." He muttered the last part and sat down by the couch. "He is such a good kid though, I hope you take care of him at school." Kuroo and Kenma nodded and looked at each other with soft smiles.

'Wake up you idiot, they are probably talking shit about you right now because they hate you.' Hinata opened his eyes slowly but closed them again at the bright light.

"Hey Shouyou, you want the light off?" Hinata shook his head and slowly sat up, grabbing his pounding head. "Here's a glass of water, drink it and then we need to talk." It was Iwaizumi talking, Hinata determined that much and he slowly nodded before taking the water and drinking some of it.

"T-thanks Hajime.." He whispered and Iwaizumi nudged him lightly as a sign to look up. Hinata slowly looked up to see the other three and scooted closer to Iwaizumi on instinct. "Uhm, y-you p-probably want to know.." He stopped talking and all three of them nodded.

"Please tell up Shou, I won't tell anyone and neither will these two idiots. We are all here to help you and take care of you." Oikawa said and slowly moved to sit on Hinata's other side.

"Alright, I'll tell you.." Hinata leaned into Iwaizumi who put his arm around the orange haired boy. "After you got sent to the mental hospital, my mother told me that she looked through my phone and said that she told them that I told her to make me seem like a better friend.. but she looked empty and had a coldness in her eyes that scared me, my home didn't feel like home anymore and it felt so cold, it didn't feel warm anymore like it used to.." Hinata sighed and looked at Oikawa and the Kuroo and Kenma. "After that day, anytime I came home smiling, s-she would tell me to go to my room and not show my face until it was gone so I quit smiling. I don't know what a real smile feels like anymore, she started beating me whenever I messed up a-and.." He stopped talking and looked at Iwaizumi who nodded at him to continue and Hinata motioned at his shirt. "C-can I?" He got a nod in response.

"What are you doing?" Oikawa asked quietly and watched as Hinata slowly took off his shirt, showing many scars that littered his back, stomach, arms and how his ribs were very noticeable.

"This is the result of a lot of things.. I uhm, cut.. and starve myself a lot of the time." He whispered and Kuroo and Kenma both had the lean closer to hear him. "I really didn't want you guys to know about any of this.. I'm sorry!" Hinata quickly moved to put his shirt back on but Kenma stood up and stopped him.

"Get me the first aid kit." He said in a monotone voice and looked Hinata up and down before pushing him to sit down. "Don't move." He grabbed the glass that had water in it and walked to the kitchen to fill it up again. "Shouyou, how long has this been going on?" 

"Uh, Oikawa left when he was I believe thirteen which would have made me ten or eleven at the time.. So, five or six years.." Hinata looked at Kenma as Iwaizumi returned with the first aid kit.

"Drink the water Shouyou." Kenma said and Hinata did as he was told. "I'm going to be cleaning the cuts, are there any more that I should know about to clean?" Hinata slowly shook his head and Iwaizumi looked at him.

"Hinata." Iwaizumi gave him the look a parent would give when a kid got in trouble and it scared Hinata so he looked down at his thighs.

"C-can I have some shorts to change into Hajime?" Iwaizumi threw him some and Hinata quickly ran to the bathroom and changed. He stayed in there though and looked at himself in the mirror.

'You look dead to the world, you might as well just kill yourself.' Hinata nodded at that thought and felt around in his pants pockets until he found his knife he kept on him.

'You could have fun with this too, there are so many way to kill yourself with a knife.' He smiled and looked at the blade that glimmered in the light before sliding it across his skin once, twice.. five times.. twenty times.. until blood flowed out of his wrists, thighs, shoulders, and many other places and didn't stop.

"Shouyou? Are you done yet? You have been in there for a while!" It sounded like Kuroo or Kenma but he couldn't make out the voice, it sounded far away, like he was drowning and they were yelling for him from above the water.

"Iwaizumi! He isn't responding!" The person yelled and he smiled at the blood that covered the towel he had laid down as to not make a mess on his friends floor. 

'I love you guys, you all mean so much to me..' He thought as he heard pounding on the door and a few more muffle words.

"Shou... co.. ..t ..ease!" He looked at the ceiling and remembered how much fun he had with Oikawa when they were growing up.

'I'm sorry Tooru, I've always loved you, you're like a big brother to me, I'm kinda following in your footsteps but taking it a step further.' He thought as the door finally opened and he could see people yelling but couldn't hear anything except a few muffled words every now an then.

"St.. .... m. ...yo. .ou ..n't l..ve ...!" He couldn't see who it was or make out the voice but he smiled a little as he guess it was Oikawa.

'Stay with me Shouyou, you can't leave!' He thought that was what the person said but couldn't make it out entirely as he felt himself losing consciousness and being slapped awake every time he closed his eyes.

"L-let m-e g-go.." Was the last thing Hinata said to his friends before he felt something hard under him and closed his eyes for the last time.

'You can't die yet, you still have to play volleyball and make it through high school! You just found Oikawa again!' His thoughts hadn't died out yet so he knew he hadn't died yet but they were muffled and he smiled internally at the thought of Oikawa.

'He'll be okay without me.. He has Iwaizumi now, they are made for each other.' He didn't think of anything else as he waited for death to take over and never let him see another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, after so many times of my computer refreshing and listening to the same song on repeat for hours because I didn't wanna deal with ads, I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER!! Sorry for the angst and.. yknow, but it isn't the end!!
> 
> I will try to update more but I have to catch up on two weeks of school work from before christmas break..
> 
> Anywho~ Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it!! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot more POV switching to get other views and to make it longer! Heh, this author is really bad at writing right now and in a depression slump.

It has been a week since the incident and Nekoma team has been getting ready for a two week training camp with four other teams. Shouyou is still in the hospital and Kenma and Kuroo alone with Oikawa and Iwaizumi visited as often as they could before they had to leave to go back to school and volleyball.

* * *

"Kitten, you doing alright?" Kuroo asked and slung his arm over the boys shoulder while he was gaming.

"Yeah." Was Kenma's only response as they grabbed their bags and boarded the bus that was taking them to the training camp. "Shouyou was supposed to come with.." He whispered so only Kuroo and hear him and put more focus onto his game.

"I know kitten, I know.." Kuroo rubbed the boys shoulder while the other boys boarded the bus before it started and they were on the road. "I'm gonna nap if that's okay with you."

"Perfectly fine." Kenma muttered and went back his game while Kuroo closed his eyes.

* * *

"Tooru!! Thank you for doing this for me!" Hinata tried to smile but it came out lopsided and he frowned. 

"Don't thank me chibi-chan, if it's for you then I would do anything." Oikawa smiled and looked at Iwaizumi who was standing by the door signing the discharge papers.

"You made sure they didn't know right? Only the coach know?" Iwaizumi nodded and Oikawa gave him a thumbs up. "You guys are truly the best! I uhm.. I'm s-sorry.. For what I did.." Hinata looked down and Oikawa sat beside him.

"It's fine, we all go through a rough patch sometimes, I'm just glad we got the door open in time.. They said a minute later and.." Oikawa looked down before leaning against Hinata. "You're my best friend, and I love you, I never want to lose you again chibi-chan.. So don't try to leave me again or I won't forgive you!" 

"We can leave now shittykawa." Iwaizumi spoke and walked out of the room.

"Thanks Tooru, I won't do it again. I will also talk to you guys more often.." He tried to smile again but it came lopsided and he gave up. "It's gonna take time to smile again isn't it?"

"It will, but we will be here to help." Iwaizumi walked in with a bag and set it beside Hinata. "Now go change, I will drive us there and we will be staying there too. We got the okay to miss school for the two weeks and your coach gave us the okay." He waved Hinata off to change behind the curtain and the boy got up to do so. "As for you Oikawa. Please don't start anything, Karasuno is going to be there and Tobio is on their team."

"Ah, Tobio-chan, what a great way to reunite!" Oikawa smiled and looked where Hinata was changing. "Do any of them know chibi?" 

"No, nobody else knows Hinata except us, his team, and whoever he has met at his school." Iwaizumi spoke quietly and the curtain opened.

"W-will I be able to stay with you two?" Hinata rubbed his arm and looked at the ground before speaking again. "I-I don't have to! I just.. N-nightmare and all.. and you guys know me and Hajime knows how to help.." He rambled on before Iwaizumi finally grabbed his arm gently and pulled the boy into a hug.

"You can stay with us if you feel better like that, we don't want you to be uncomfortable." Oikawa then walked over and joined in the hug and added onto what Iwaizumi said.

"We can talk and play games and catch up on things. It will be just like a sleepover! If you want, a couple nights you can have Kuroo and Kenma join us too if it makes you happy." They all stepped back to look at each other and Hinata nodded before they grabbed his things and they made their way out of the hospital. 

"We are going to stop at my apartment quickly to grab our bags and then will make our way to the training camp, is that okay with you Hinata?" Iwaizumi asked as they got into the car.

"Yeah of course!" Hinata sat in the backseat and curled up. "C-could I have a blanket?" He asked quietly and Oikawa smiled before reaching into a bin on the floor, grabbing out a blanket and covering Hinata with it.

"Of course chibi-chan!" He smiled at the orange haired boy before turning back around and relaxing in the passenger seat while Iwaizumi drove back to his apartment.

* * *

"I will be right back out chibi-chan, Iwa-chan will keep you company out here while I grab our bags!" Oikawa got a thumbs up in response from the tired orange haired boy as he exited the car to go into the apartment.

"Hinata?" Iwaizumi asked quietly and the boy tilted his head. "Are you feeling better?"

"I-I'm feeling okay, I just want to get away for now.. W-where am I going to stay that is safe for me?" Hinata stared out the window while speaking and his tone got sadder as he spoke. "I want to feel safe and like I belong but at h-home, I just don't.." 

"You could always stay with me, or we could talk to Kuroo and Kenma about seeing if you could stay with them." Iwaizumi looked at the boy. "I want you to feel safe with whoever you live with and if you wish to live with one of us then I think we could make the space for you."

"Thank you Hajime, that means a lot to me.. Also, how come you still call me by my last name? I thought I told you to call me Shouyou forever ago." The orange haired boy smiled sadly when he said that and Oikawa opened the back door opposite where he sat.

"I will call you Shouyou once I am ready, but for now you will still be Hinata to me. It doesn't mean you aren't my friend, I just have yet to call anyone by their first names." Iwaizumi smiled softly at the boy as he nodded.

"Alright, Shou-chan! I am joining you back here for the ride to nap because I am tired, is that okay with you?" Oikawa spoke up as he got in and set the bags in the passenger seat so the two had more room.

"Of course its okay! I was getting lonely back here Tooru, you left me to be alone." Hinata pouted and the other two smiled at him before they began the trip to the training camp.

* * *

Nekoma got to the training camp an hour later and went to their respective room to put their bags on their beds so they could greet the other teams and get into practicing as soon as possible.

"When do you think Karausno is gonna be here?" Kenma asked Kuroo quietly as he sat playing games and the captain looked thoughtfully at the time before looking at the other.

**(A/N I'm only gonna be focusing on three teams, Furkurodani, Karasuno, and Nekoma.)**

"Probably not until way later, they have a long drive unlike the other teams." Kuroo said as he watched another bus pull up that was Furkurodani and he got up, pulling the other boy with him to greet them. "Bokuto!" 

"HEY HEY HEY Kuroo bro!" Bokuto yelled as he got off the bus and hugged his captain friend. "How's it going?"

"Pretty okay, besides uhm.. Kitten?" Kuroo looked over to Kenma who only looked down and turned off his game for the first time since they arrived.

"Our newest team member is in the hospital.. after trying to uh, commit, but we can't let anyone know, so keep quiet Bokuto!" Kenma spoke quietly and Bokuto's eyes widened before he nodded his head and they watched as another bus showed up. 

"We should go practice while we wait for Karasuno, they will be a bit later." Kuroo said and everyone voiced their agreement before walking into the gym to begin practicing. 

* * *

"Tooru? Can I have a drink of water?" Hinata asked quietly and yawned after.

"Of course chibi-chan!" Oikawa smiled and handed him a bottled water before going back to watching videos on his phone while Iwaizumi kept driving.

"We are going to stop for a little bit so it takes longer to get there, how about we all nap for a little while?" Iwaizumi said and both Hinata and Oikawa nodded in agreement before unbuckling and cuddling with each other.

"WARMTH!!" Hinata shouted and the other two chuckled before Oikawa closed his eyes and hummed in contentment.

"You could have asked me to turn the heat on." Iwaizumi said quietly as he shut his eyes and Hinata tilted his head slightly.

"It would have been uncomfortable since it is hot outside, it is better with the A/C on." He closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Oikawa before finally falling asleep.

"Alright Shou, if you say so." Iwaizumi smiled softly before closings his eyes and falling asleep himself.

* * *

"Karasuno will be arriving soon! Nekoma is going out to greet them, the rest get to stay practicing!" Nekoma's coach said while everyone was getting drinks and the team walked out of the gym to wait outside.

"I wonder why they came this time, I heard they have the king on their team!" Lev spoke up out of nowhere and Yaku kicked him as the bus pulled up in front of the team.

"They are here! Behave!" Their coach said and walked back into the gym as the team lined up to greet the Karasuno team members.

"Kuroo, thanks for letting us join you for this training camp!" Daichi said as he bowed after he got off the bus, followed by the rest of the team except for two players.

"I will show you to your room so you can drop off your bags before we begin practicing." Kuroo spoke smoothly and motioned for the Karasuno team to follow. There was bickering from the black and orange team but he didn't mind it as he wouldn't be alone with them for much longer.

"Thank you Kuroo, we will be to the gym shortly." Suga said with a smile as he swiftly karate chopped Tanaka for being loud again. "I apologies for my teams behavior, they are always like this and need to be reminding what manners are and how to use them."

"It's fine, we will be waiting for you to join us in the gym." He walked out of the room and quietly chuckled as he was reminded or Hinata's smiling figure before walking back to the gym and going over to Kenma. "I wonder how he is.."

"So do I rooster but we have no way of contacting them right now, Oikawa and Iwaizumi told us they wouldn't be able to use their phones today.." Kenma stopped and looked at his phone before picking it up and clicking a contact. "I'm going to try contacting one of them though, try to see how he is.."

* * *

The three were woken by Iwaizumi's phone ringing and Hinata yawned before looking at the other.

"Who is it?" He asked quietly and noticed it was dark out now. "It's getting late.." He whispered and looked down at Oikawa who was still laying down and had yet to move.

"I'm going to step outside to answer it, it's Kenma." Hinata's eyes widened and he was about to question when Iwaizumi stepped out of the car.

_'Hello Kenma?'_

_'I thought you wouldn't have your phone.'_

_'I didn't say I wouldn't have it, I said I would only be using it for emergencies.'_

_'Can you tell me how Shouyou is doing?'_

_'Kenma, he is doing fine, I promise. I have to go.'_

_'Alright, thanks for picking up, Kuroo says hi.'_

_'Goodbye Kenma.'_

_'Goodbye Iwaizumi.'_

"We should be on our way there now, surprise them and then get a good night's sleep." Iwaizumi said as he got back into the car.

"That sounds like a good plan Iwa-chan!" Oikawa finally sat up and fixed his hair quickly before anyone could say anything. They all sat in silence the rest of the drive to the training camp and when they got there the teams were still practicing.

"C'mon Hinata, let's go surprise Nekoma!" Iwaizumi stepped out and opened Hinata's door for him.

"I-I'm ready," Hinata said nervously and smiled slightly, or tried to at least. "Let's go." The walk to the gym was quiet as they didn't want to give away that they were there.

"I'm going in first." Oikawa said and walked into the gym before Iwaizumi could stop him.

"Hajime? When do I go in?" Hinata asked quietly and looked at his friend who was looking at the doors like they betrayed him.

"We go in together Hinata, right now." Iwaizumi grabbed his hand and pulled him into the gym, letting the doors slam close behind them which alerted everyone of their arrival and the Nekoma team froze in shock. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not the best but I wanted it to be happy, I couldn't leave it being so sad!
> 
> Anywho~ Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
